Clones are people two.
Entropy isn't what it used to be.
Microbiology Lab: Staph Only!
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
Ground Beef: A Cow With No Legs!
A mouse is an elephant built by the Japanese.
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
Air Pollution is a mist-demeaner.
Anything free is worth what you pay for it
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Editing is a rewording activity.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Gene Police: You! Out of the pool!
To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support Group.
Question Authority, Ask Me Anything.
To some it's half empty, To some it's half full. To me it's time for a beer run!
Help stamp out, delete, and eradicate superfluous redundancy.
I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.
My reality check just bounced.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery.
No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.
Boycott shampoo! Demand Real poo!
My other wife is beautiful.
Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your butt?
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an jackass!
100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.
Without nipples, breasts would be pointless.
If you don't enjoy masturbation, you only have yourself to blame.
Free one dollar bills! Please send $4.95 to cover postage & handling.(Limit $1 per order).
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Jesus Save... He Passes It To Gretzky... Gretzky Shoots... He Scores!
Jesus is coming! Look busy!
You've made too many visits to the state of confusion.
You are depriving some poor village of its idiot!
Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date!
Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
Grow your own dope, plant a man.
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
I'm pretty sure that sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.
Money takes the sting out of being poor.
One orgasm in the bush is worth two in the hand.
Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.
Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
I need someone really bad... Are you really bad?
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Look out for #1 and don't step in #2.
All men are idiots... I married their king.
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Out of my mind... Back in five minutes.
Hang up and drive.
Practice Safe Sex. Go Screw Yourself.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Where there's a will... I want to be in it.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
My dog thinks he's human, My cat thinks she's God!
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry... Then things get worse.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Be nice to your kids... They will pick out your nursing home.
Always remember you're unique... Just like everyone else.
Honk If You Want To See My Middle Finger.
They laughed at Lincoln. But he went right ahead and built the highway.
Technology is simply a means of Manipulating the world so you don't have to experience it.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
